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British Enginuity

telephoneAfter having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the French: in the weeks that followed, American
archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 feet before finding traces of copper wire. Shortly afterwards, they published an article in the New York Times saying : "American archaeologists, having found traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the French."

A few weeks later, ‘The British Archaeological Society of Northern England’ reported the following: "After digging down to a depth of 33 feet in the Skipton area of North Yorkshire in 2011, Charlie Hardcastle, a self-taught local amateur archaeologist, reported that he had found absolutely nothing at all. Charlie has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."

Just makes you bloody proud to be British.





























































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Watch Out For This Scam

duck scamPolice say that the gang usually is comprised of four members, one adult and three younger ones.

While the three younger ones, all appearing sweet and innocent,divert their 'mark' (or intended target) with a show of friendliness,the fourth - the eldest -- sneaks in from behind the person's backto expertly rifle through his or her pockets and purses or bags forany valuables being carried. 

The picture below, caught on CCTV camera, show the gang in operation.
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Supermarket Shelf Stacker

admiral shelf stacker 2I like this story from our friends in America. -  
















Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't 
Seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 
Minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, 
Clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the 
Company and obviously demonstrating their 
"Older Person Friendly" policies. 

One day the boss called him into the office for a talk. 

"Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do 
A bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being 
Late so often is quite bothersome." 

"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it." 

"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear". 

"Yes sir, I understand your concern and I will try harder". 

Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, "I know 
You're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you 
There if you showed up in the morning late so often?" 

The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled. He chuckled 
Quietly, then said with a grin,
"They usually saluted and said, Good morning, Admiral,
Can I get your coffee, sir"? 


 
One of my favorite stories, ever!
 
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Tatoo of the Year

tatoo of the yearManagement Lesson

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. 

They rub it and a Genie comes out.  The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'      



'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk..  'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'  Poof! She's gone. 

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in   Hawaii     , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.'  Poof! He's gone. 

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.  The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.' 

Moral of the story:   
Always let your boss have the first say.


 Only Divine intervention can now restore us to sanity !

This says it all…….
 
Pythagoras' Theorem: .........................24 words.
Lord's Prayer: .......................................... 66 words.
Archimedes' Principle: .................................67 words.
Ten Commandments: .......................................179 words.
Gettysburg Address: ................................................286 words.
US Declaration of Independence : ..............................1,300 words.
US Constitution with all 27 Amendments: ........................7,818 words.
EU Regulations on the Sale of CABBAGES: ..................26,911 words

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